Life After Loss: How Volunteering Helped Me Welcome Love Again

Emily is a clinical psychologist living in North Wales. Although we’ve been close friends for many years, I introduced Emily to the Waggel team in December 2023 when we collaborated on an article about the joys of living with a senior dog.

Emily lost her beloved dog, Barney, in March 2024. While navigating grief and coming to terms with the death of her family dog, she began volunteering with a local charity, Jackson’s Animal Rescue. It was here that she met Clement, who would become her new pet.

In this candid, catch-up interview, we chat with Emily to find out more about the highs and lows of the past 12 months and how she came to find her new addition. We also delve deep into the joy of volunteering with rescue animals and the privileges and experiences that come with adopting them.

Emily: Thank you, that means a lot. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about Barney. He was such a big part of my life and always will be. It always makes me smile to know that others loved him, too!

It was my fiancé’s mum who introduced me to Jackson’s, actually! She’d volunteered at their North Wales site a couple of times, so I knew their name and was familiar with lots of the great work that they were doing. But it wasn’t until she invited me to volunteer with her that I learnt the true joy of working with rescue animals.

E: I’ve realised it’s so personal. Everyone goes on their own journey with it and finds particular moments and memories more difficult than others. I’ve realised that it’s certainly not linear, and while some days I find myself renavigating life without Barney, others I’m overcome with sadness, especially when we venture on one of his favourite walks, and reflect on him not being with us.

There’s no timeline for grief, which sounds cliche but is incredibly true. I’ve learnt that showing yourself kindness and patience and allowing yourself the passage of time all help on that journey. As well as finding ways to move forward without your beloved pet, I have found it helpful to still find ways of honouring them in your life, and I regularly enjoy my morning coffee sitting next to the lavender that we planted in his memory.

E: For a while, I was uncertain that we would ever feel ready to open up our home to a pet again, but after volunteering at Jackson’s, I realised that, while Barney is still, and will forever be a part of our lives, we had so much love to share with another animal when the time was right.

After nurturing Barney through his autumn and winter years, I got so much comfort from knowing that we could care for another senior animal, in need of love, a safe home and a warm bed. Volunteering allowed me the time and opportunity to explore how being with and sharing my time with other animals would feel – and, to my surprise, an animal of the feline variety! I was under no obligation to adopt; it just kind of happened after I’d been volunteering for a few months.

The experience of volunteering was both surprising and challenging. It was hard when I was mourning my own pet, to find myself surrounded by so many vulnerable animals, and I noticed myself wanting to take them all home; though I knew that this next chapter needed to be approached with patience and thoughtfulness, to make sure that it was the right time for us to welcome a new addition into our lives.

E: It’s hard to put a finger on something that specifically changed, but a few months after Barney passed, my partner and I started to talk about how we’d welcome another pet into our lives and if we were even ready to do so. I felt a funny mix of guilt, excitement, and anticipation of what that would be like; simultaneously overcome with feelings of guilt because I felt like we were replacing Barney, but also felt excitement at the thought of sharing our home with a pet again.

Being a firm lover of both dogs and cats, this opened up conversations about what animal we would welcome home. But one thing we were sure of is that we wanted to rehome and rescue an animal who needed another chance at life and, if possible, give a loving home to an older animal who are so often the ones overlooked in rescue centres.

I continued to volunteer and had the pleasure of meeting so many lovely cats along the way, and before too long, I met Kashmir (who we renamed Clement), the cat I ended up adopting. I remember seeing a picture of a poorly, scraggly cat on the Jackson’s website and rushed to meet him the next time I was volunteering, and it really was love at first head rub.

Clement had been found straying in an industrial park and was in a really poor way when Jackson’s brought him to the rescue centre. He was thin and had a big abscess on his cheek, and the vets were unsure if, in his current state, he would survive any treatment or veterinary interventions.

With being a stray, very little more is known about him, including his age - which they estimate to be roughly twelve years old - but the team at Jackson’s were committed to doing everything they could to look after and nurture Clement when he needed them the most. With a lengthy vet stay, a few stitches and a course of antibiotics to clear up any lingering infection, Clement went on to defy expectations and was deemed fit and well enough to begin his search for his forever home. Just in time for us to begin our search for our new animal companion.

E: The process of adoption was made so easy with the support of the team at Jackson’s. What really stood out to me was how committed the team are to both ensuring the cat is the right fit for the person adopting them, and that the person is the right fit for them. Each cat at Jackson’s has its own needs, whether that’s food requirements, temperament, or the need to be indoors or outdoors, and it is so important that the right match between cat, and human is made.

Once we had enquired about Clement, they did a home check where they visited to check that things were as we said they were, completed some paperwork, and set about finding a date to bring him home.

As for how we knew that Clement was the right cat for us, I genuinely think it was perfect timing, and how it was meant to work out. He certainly wasn’t the cuddliest or most affectionate cat that we met, but something about the need for us to earn and gain his trust was appealing, as well as our unwavering desire to give a home to a senior animal.

Our primary motivation was to give an animal in need a place to live, to call home and to open up our hearts again to a new pet with the morning bed cuddles and meows for a lap to sit on. The uncanny resemblance to Barney’s constant want for company and attention is just a big, happy bonus!

E: It’s one of the best ways to directly make a difference. I think many people are under the impression that a few thousand Instagram followers mean a charity is stable and secure. Animal rescues are under such a huge strain right now and can’t keep up with the demand for animals surrendered to them and the subsequent care that is needed to look after them, including volunteers and supplies.

I love sharing my time with the animals at the rescue centre, getting to know their personalities, cleaning up their pen and feeding them, giving some ear scratches, and rejoicing with them when they find their forever home! Personally, I find it rewarding to give back to the charity that helped us to find Clement, and I am always so motivated by the huge commitment and drive of the team to continue to help animals in need that sharing a slice of my time with them to support the work that they are doing feels like a real privilege, and it is something that I always look forward to.

E: Get in touch with a local charity! Charities and rescue centres are always calling out for extra hands and help with the animals that they care for. I think that it’s important that you find one that aligns with your values and beliefs and has an ethos that you can get behind because it isn’t all belly scratches and biscuits and involves getting your hands dirty – that being said, the sense of pride when you have looked after, replenished and cleaned up a cat’s pen is unmatched!

If hands-on volunteering isn’t for you, many charities have donation boxes that you can have at your workplace, or you could volunteer on animal transport (taking animals between rescue sites, or back and forth to the vets). Charities also always welcome donations and charity fundraisers but it can be useful to check with them as to what supplies they need, and how you can help in the best way.

E: Be certain this is what you want, and be kind and patient with yourself as you navigate this journey and this decision. There’s no timeline or guidebook on the ‘right’ timing, and this will be different for everyone. But, be sure that you are willing and ready to open your home to a new animal and everything that that entails. I remember once being told that ‘comparison is the thief of joy’, so where you can try not to compare your new pet to your previous one. Be prepared to get to know their personality and their quirks and to be flexible if this is different to what you were used to.

For me, the experience of rescuing Clement has been nothing short of a joy. It hasn’t been without its challenges, and every day I think about Barney and miss him dearly, while also catching myself smiling at the unlikely duo they would have been if their paths had ever crossed.

I’m grateful for the experiences and lessons that both Barney and Clement have taught me. When we lost Barney, I didn’t know that another animal could fill the void that he left, but I have since learnt and now believe that we don’t just have one soul pet, but many who come into our lives at different points when we need them and when they need us.